Page 45 - Reader's House Magazine

How to Talk to Anybody by Derek Borthwick is an exceptional guide that profoundly enhances communication skills, offering invaluable insights into human behavior and motivation, while providing practical techniques that are applicable in a myriad of social and professional contexts.
What are the biggest challenges that people face when communicating with others?
Many people feel uncomfortable spea- king in business situations or when spea- king to strangers They worry about making a fool of themselves, not knowing what to say and feel nervous. If not addressed, this can develop into a “runaway panic state”, and the neocortex or thinking brain shuts down which compounds the problem.
How can we control our state to help us communicate better?
If you don’t control your state than someone else or something else will do
it for you. Remember nobody makes
you nervous, you do this to yourself by choosing how you to react to a situation. There are many techniques to control your state both consciously and unconsciously, one of which are my specialist “rapid lear- ning accelerator” audio programmes that specifically target the unconscious mind to assist with this.
What are some of the psychological
biases that we should be aware of?
The first thing to realise is that while everyone is different, it turns out “just not that different”. For example, everyone likes to feel important and valued. People like to feel as if somebody is listening and interested in what they are saying. People won’t remember what you said but they will remember how you made them feel. If you want to be seen as more interesting, then be more interested. People resist what they are told and accept what they conclu- de. They are more likely to comply if you give them a reason. It does not have to be 100% accurate just plausible.
Are there some techniques things that you can share with the readers that they can start using immedia- tely?
The first thing to realise is that people are remarkably self-centred. Think about
a photograph of you and a group of your friends, when you see the picture who do you look at first? At this point most people have a wry smile. Everyone is tuned to a radio station “WIIFM” which stands for “what’s in it for me”. You must address what it is in it for somebody when you are speaking to them.
It is important when we are communica- ting with people that we show that we are listening too. One of the ways that we can do this is nonverbally, by tilting our head to one side at a 20° angle, and nod occa- sionally. This unconscious signal shows
somebody that you are interested in what they’re saying.
When speaking never use “but” as this negates what they have just said. “I hear what you are saying..... but”. Use “and” instead as linguistically this joins two thou- ghts and does negate part of a sentence.
Could you give an example of a particularly impactful transformation you’ve witnessed in someone who has applied your techniques?
I’ve worked with a young individual where the results were miraculous. Initially he could not speak in public and had no confidence. We worked on both conscious and unconscious learning (using the audio programs). His sales improved, he entered a relationship and became the top sales- person. Recently he sent me a video by message and I had to do a “double-take” as I didn’t realise that it was him at first such was the transformation. He was unrecogni- sable from the quivering wreck that I first encountered.
What sets your approach apart from other coaching and training prog- rams, especially those focused on communication and influence?
Power2Mind targets both conscious and unconscious learning. There are four pillars to success (BSRA)
• Belief
• State Control
• Rapport
• Awareness
Power2Mind is based upon those pillars.
If you ask a professional sportsperson to explain what they do, they won’t be able to because they do it unconsciously. We must target both the unconscious and the cons- cious mind and the emotional brain. The unconscious respond to repetition, imagery and emotion. Power2Mind uses special techniques and audio programs to do this together and incorporates an emotional understanding. That’s the secret.
Why are you books different?
The first half of the books show how people are wired, and aim to get you thin- king and to question certain pre-existing beliefs and assumptions. The second part of the books show a step-by-step approach to developing the skills. All books come with a complimentary audio that targets the unconscious mind to speed up the learning process. This means that we are using a multi pronged approach to gaining the skill.
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