Page 49 - Reader's House Magazine Issue 53

dealing with burnout and depression. The book out- lines and explores many manifestations of past and present trauma and loss – from the loss of health to the loss of a love. And offers “Safe Stress” models and strategies.
Perhaps most important, is sharing my own angst-filled journey, for example, burning out as a doctoral student. I reflect on my Phoenix-like trans- formation: a year later, discovering my “Psychohu- morist” voice as a radio and TV “Stress Doc TM.” I even began pioneering the field of psychologically humorous rap music, calling it, naturally, Shrink Rap TM Productions. Poking gentle fun at my own flaws and foibles, I hope to role model the wise words, of psychoanalyst, Dr. Ernst Kris: What was once feared and is now mastered is laughed at. And as the Stress Doc inverted, What was once feared and is now laughed at... is no longer a master!
In “Fierce Longing...Fiery Loss: Relearning to Let Go, Laugh & Love,” you explore grief and loss. What inspired you to write this book?
The inspiration is simple: My ex-partner had a granddaughter that I was crazy about; and the feel- ing was mutual. In fact, Charlotte’s love of playing Hide-and-Seek with me was the catalyst for another book. (See question below.) I knew Charlotte from the time of her birth till she was 3 and-a-half. Alas, when my ex ended our ten-year relationship (our basic makeups were too discordant), the family thought it best to terminate my relationship with Charlotte. Without a doubt, it was one of the most painful losses on my life’s journey. I did a lot of grieving in support groups; wrote a lot of angry
Mark Gorkin’s brilliance lies in his ability to transform pain into healing, using insightful humour, honest narratives, and boundless creativity.
and poignant poetry. “Fierce Longing” became a pathway for finding some peace, and eventually morphed into a vessel for all kinds of loss-inspired poetic writings, Shrink Raps TM, and psychological essays.
Your children’s book, “Where Is Charlotte? Or Where Is ______?,” combines psychology with playful poetry. How do you balance these elements to engage young readers?
The synergy of psychology and playful poetry is achieved by having a diverse and relatable character engaged in a universal and familiar adventure – e.g., the game of Hide-and-Seek. A little hero gets extra bonus points if she’s fun and feisty. Charlotte’s re- frain when you incorrectly guess her hiding place... (“Is she in a cave of pillows”): “No she’s not!”
Heartfelt connection occurs: 1) when your narra- tive is sung to the tune of a classic children’s song, like Frere Jacque, 2) there’s a simple and playful rhyme scheme, and 3) when captivating with color- fully vibrant, every day and fanciful illustrations. For example, Charlotte boldly proclaiming, “Even though you’re bigger, I’ll ROAR like a tiger,” paired with a picture of a powerful tiger in the jun- gle. (And of course, kids and adults are encouraged to ROAR along with Charlotte.)
Finally, Where Is Charlotte? is more than just a reading experience: Children are encouraged to share their authentic voice, to affirm a clear “No,” to howl and growl, jump up and down, and give loving “bear hugs” ... while imagina- tively discovering their own hiding places.
As a “Motivational Psychohumorist,” how do you incorporate humor into your writing to address serious topics like stress and trauma?
For starters, I like playfully edgy titles e.g, Practice Safe Stress, or my self-described Psychohumorist TM moniker. (Of course, I let my audience decide where the emphasis on that word should go).
Mark Gorkin’s Practice Safe Stress is an engaging blend of humour, insight,
and practical advice for managing stress, burnout, and depression. With its witty essays and actionable strategies, the book offers a fresh perspective on challenging topics. While some sections feel a bit
overwhelming, it’s a useful, lighthearted resource overall.
a sign of failure and more that you gave yourself away!
A powerful model is my “Four Stages of Burnout”: 1) Physical, Mental, and Emotional Exhaustion; 2) Shame and Doubt, 3) Cynicism and Callousness, 4) Failure, Helplessness and Crisis. One gentleman accused me “of looking in his win- dow”; he clearly saw himself in these stages.
Another favorite stress resilience and cognitive agility model is my formula for Natural SPEED – Sleep, Priorities & Passion, Empathy, Exercise & Diet. Using pithy poetry, I provide tools and tactics for surviving and striving. For example,
“P” stands for “Priority”
You can’t do it all every day.
Urgent means now but important can wait. Do you know how to “N & N”? –
Just say “No and Negotiate!”
What advice would you offer to aspiring authors aiming to write about mental health and resilience in a way that is both informative and engaging?
Read the previous six answers. Just kidding. Perhaps a quote from a Nobel-Prize winning biochemist, Albert Szent-Gyorgi: See what every- one else has seen and think what no one else has thought. Come up with your own “Shrink Rap” TM variation. Consider my new communication tactics – the New KISS and Memorable MISS: Keep it Short and Smart (compelling); and Make It Sassy and Surprising (captivating)!
In summary, be observant and listen to your gut. Jot down bullet points about surprising situations
– whether they startle or evoke a knowing smile. (Like taking notes to remember a dream.) Then engage in exaggerated or imaginative play, while highlighting some cultural truth, some human flaw or foible. You want to ultimately help people laugh at their own vulnerable parts to encourage self- (and other-) compassion; to better accept our imperfect humanity. As I like to say, you don’t just want to encourage empathy; you need to do more than just walk in another’s shoes: True empathy is when you feel their bunions! (Amen and Women, to that!)
And when you can tweak a big ego, people usual- ly love it. For example, a ditty to the tune of the old classic, “Tea for Two,” now renamed “Humili-Tea for Two: The Narcissist’s Version”:
You for me, and me for me
Oh how nurturing you will be
Forget “To be or not to be”
Just simply think of Me, Me, ME!
As the acclaimed writer and humorist, Mark Twain, observed, “Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation.” Consider this ironic pairing of the classical and psycho-comical:
My title for a radio program on burnout: Break- ing out of a hell of a shell... Or, don’t feel too sorry for Humpty Dumpty... he needed to hit bottom!
Your work emphasizes stress resilience and trauma recovery. How do you ensure your writing remains accessible and relatable to a broad audience?
One way of capturing attention and insuring accessibility is using concise and clear, colorful and descriptive language. For example, highlighting the powerful stress symptom – muscle tension – such as neck or back pain, or the jaw- or teeth-clenching TMJ. Then I nonchalantly note, “We know what TMJ really stands for... Too Many Jerks! The out- pouring of laughter reveals how many can relate.
Another tool is a brief and dramatic vignette:
I recall leading a stress workshop for VA Hospital nurse supervisors sitting around a boardroom table. The tension and angst were palpable. Then they introduced themselves: “Walker, W-16, Thompson, W-18, Jones W-20, etc.” My immediate response: “It sounds like you are reporting from your battle stations.” The sighs and nodding heads let me know I was on target. But what re- ally convinced me of their burnout edge... the nurses two favorite slogans: “Do you eight and hit the gate. Nine to five and stay alive.” These ladies knew chronic stress!
Given your extensive experience in stress management, what are the most common misconceptions people have about stress, and how do you address them in your books?
Stress is not all bad; acute stress can be ener- gizing, motivating timely self-examination: what am I feeling about the other, about myself; am I self-sabotaging, what new decisions and actions do I need to consider, am I ready to humble myself and ask for support or help? Chronic stress or hyper- vigilance is the danger. Remember, burnout is less
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