Page 41 - Reader's House Magazine Issue 53

70s to his arrival in America illustrates a universal quest for self-acceptance that many readers will find relatable.
Boy Wander is more than just a memoir; it is a testament to the transformative power of storytelling. Abueva’s guidance for aspiring authors, particularly in embracing vulnera- bility and authenticity, serves as a beacon for those seeking to navigate their own narra- tives. As Reader’s House magazine proudly showcases this interview, we celebrate Jobert E. Abueva not only as a remarkable author but also as a voice of inspiration, en- couraging us all to embark on our journeys of self-discovery and connection.
‘Boy Wander’ details your life across Manila, Kathmandu, Bangkok, and Tokyo. How did these diverse cultures influence your personal journey?
Each of these cities from my boyhood left a unique imprint on who I am. In Manila, where I was born, I learned of resilience and warmth amid political upheaval and where community and family are deeply intertwined. Kathmandu introduced me
to a world of spiritual depth; its majestic landscapes and mystical rituals nurtured a reflective and introspective side of me. The same goes for Bangkok which was a cele- bration of contrasts—the energetic vibrancy of street life, the fusion of old and new, and
Abueva’s voice is fearless, elegant, and profoundly human—his memoir illuminates the complexities of identity with striking honesty and emotional resonance.
a palpable pulse that taught me spontaneity and adaptability. Then there’s where I spent my high school years, Tokyo, a city where precision meets tradition, inspiring discipline and an appreciation for the subtle beauty of everyday moments.
These diverse cultures wove into the fabric of my personal journey and to this day my career remains global in scope, and I am nomadic by nature. They have enriched my understanding of what it means to belong and helped me embrace the beautiful complexity of my own identity. The lessons I gleaned from each place have fueled my narrative, shaping Boy Wander into a mem- oir that is as much about finding home in the world as it is about finding oneself.
Your memoir reveals a dual life
as a high-achieving student and a clandestine existence at Tokyo’s Imperial Hotel. How did you navigate these contrasting identities during your youth?
Navigating those contrasting identities
was like walking a tightrope between
two distinct, yet equally vital worlds.
On one side was the disciplined life of a high-achieving student—a realm where ex- pectations were clear and every success, ac- ademic and otherwise, was measured against a strict internal bar set by family and society. On the other, there was the clandestine existence at Tokyo’s Imperial Hotel, a place where the usual rules dissolved, allowing me to explore a deeper, perhaps wilder, and often misunderstood part of myself.
The key was compartmentalization to live in both realms without letting one overpower the other. I learned to switch gears, being adept at keeping things, er, straight. A more complex, resilient identity took shape, which is the narrative thrust behind Boy Wander. Ultimately the journey to self-understanding is rarely linear, and embracing our contradic- tions is what makes our stories rich and real.
In ‘Boy Wander’, you discuss your experiences before the advent of AIDS. How did this era shape your understanding of sexuality and identity?
Even as an adolescent, reading the initial headlines of a gay cancer, I sensed that my encounters, as thrilling and daring as they were, were also entering an unchartered, guarded zone that by the time I arrived in America, made me reconsider how promis- ing this new land of opportunity may be.
I discovered that sexuality was not merely a series of physical encounters, but a pro- found window into who I was becoming. Our interactions, free from the pervasive fear that would later grip our community, allowed me to embrace a more spontaneous and, in many ways, innocent exploration
Boy Wander is Jobert E. Abueva’s candid coming-of-age memoir, chronicling his double life as a
high-achieving student and secret sex worker in 1970s Tokyo. Spanning continents and decades, it explores identity, resilience, and acceptance, offering a poignant reflection on navigating societal expectations while staying true to oneself.
of self. This era taught me that sexuality
and identity are intricately entwined—each encounter, each secret meeting early on, was a step toward understanding the depth of our own humanity. The absence of AIDS did not mean there was no risk; it was an environ- ment in which emotional and social risks were taken without the immediate weight of a looming epidemic. In retrospect, I realized that this unguarded exploration, while beau- tiful, also set the stage for a later reckoning, time when our freedoms were suddenly redefined by loss, fear, and the urgent need for compassion.
Your story spans from the 1960s
and 70s to your arrival in America. How did these different time periods affect your self-acceptance journey?
The 1960s and 70s were marked by cultural revolution and personal experimen- tation as well as charged with the energy of rebellion and artistic exploration, when I was boldly testing the boundaries of who I was expected to be. I eventually learned that self-acceptance was not something handed down by society; it had to be forged through introspection, risk, and often a quiet defiance
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